the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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