Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
