I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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