apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
God I need to hump something, right now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
