the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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