Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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