I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
