The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
