You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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