then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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