oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
