I just cut my nipple shaving
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
