so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize