I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
