Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
