i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
