he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
