all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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