Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
