Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize