windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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