The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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