Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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