you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
