Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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