Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
