Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
