It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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