overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
