Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
