It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
