You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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