some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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