I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
