Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
