Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
