He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
