you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
