she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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