question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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