sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
