Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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