When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
