Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
