these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
