I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
