Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
