This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
