two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
