is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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