Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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