just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
